Dear Avi,
Just because you were miscarried, doesn’t mean you are a miss person.
Just because I only saw you alive for five minutes, doesn’t mean I
don’t miss you.
Alone Akole felt your birth, alone I saw your birth. Purple and red,
you moved slowly like a man performing Tai Chi. The only thing I could
do for you was to bless you and commit you to the Father and the Son
and the Holy Spirit.
Now there is a hole in my life that goes right into the core of my
life. It will never be filled, though the entrance may become overgrown
and difficult to see. You will be with me forever because your death
has stolen the future. You will be with me forever because of the gifts
you have given me. You have given me empathy for those whose life is
dark empty. You have made the words I have spoken about God suffering
with us real. You have given me understanding.
We are not alone. There is a freemasonry of understanding among those
who have lost children. Many people have shown us that they care.
Now I must return and make sure that your gifts are not wasted, and
that your life has meaning. Sleep peacefully until I think of you again.